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Harms caused by DV

Survivors/Victims often suffer both physical and emotional pain. Many state that they are hurt and disappointed because the person who abuses them is the person whom they love or have loved and respected. They live in fear because the abuser is always near them; they feel shame because their dignity has been violated. Children in these families may want to run away from home and often cannot focus on their studies. These children may be more susceptible to violence from others. The perpetrators also receive negative consequences: a bad reputation, an unhappy family, and possible imprisonment.

Here is a small list of some of the possible effects on people who have been harmed by domestic violence:
Fear toward the abuser
  • Distrust of the abuser
  • Anger toward the abuser or toward themselves for not resisting the abuse
  • Resentment of the harms that have been caused by the abuse
  • Distance or “loss of closeness”
  • Hatred toward the abuser
  • Physical injuries
  • Loss of money or income
  • Psychological scars (changes in thoughts about self, others or the world in general)
  • Insecurity (loss of a feeling of hope and safety for the future)
  • Loss of self-confidence
  • Humiliation and hurt feelings
  • Embarrassment about the abuse being experienced
  • Shame
  • Self-blame for the abuse being experienced
  • Depression
  • Suicidal feelings
  • Apathy toward the abuser, children or life in general
  • Alcohol or drug abuse to escape the pain and harms caused by domestic abuse
  • Physical injuries or death
  • Spitefulness and revenge
  • Sarcasm toward the abuser
  • Passive resistance (indirect actions toward the abuser as a form of resistance)
  • Confusion or ambivalence about the abuser or the relationship
  • Keeping secrets
  • Loss of sexual feelings for the abuser
  • Loss of respect for the abuser
  • Social isolation (from friends or relatives)
  • Physical retaliation toward the abuser
  • All of these effects and more can arise from experiencing domestic violence. If you have felt any of these things, it can be helpful to seek out support and possibly counseling for you and your children.
If you have been abusive toward your partner or family, it can be helpful to recognize that these kind of harms often get worse over time if you do not make the choice to change your behavior.

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