Harms Caused by Domestic Violence

Survivors/Victims often suffer both physical and emotional pain. Many state that they are hurt and disappointed because the person who abuses them is the person whom they love or have loved and respected. They live in fear because the abuser is always near them; and they feel shame because their dignity has been violated. Children in these families may want to run away from home and often cannot focus on their studies. These children may be more susceptible to violence from others. The perpetrators also receive negative consequences: a bad reputation, an unhappy family, and possible imprisonment.

Here is a small list of some of the possible effects on someone who is harmed by domestic violence:

Fear toward the abuser	Distrust of the abuser
Anger toward the abuser or toward themself for not resisting the abuse	Resentment toward the harms that have been caused by the abuse
Distance, or "loss of closeness"	Hate toward the abuser
Physical injuries	Loss of money or income
Psychological scars (changes in thoughts about self, others or the world in general)	Insecurity (loss of a feeling of hope and safety for the future)
Loss of self-confidence	Humiliation, Hurt feelings
Embarrassment about the abuse being experienced	Shame
Self-blame for the abuse being experienced	Depression
Suicidal feelings	Apathy toward the abuser, children or life in general
Alcohol or drug abuse to escape the pain and harms caused by domestic abuse	Physical injuries, death
Spitefulness, revenge	Sarcasm toward the abuser
Doesn't feel like doing nice for the abuser	Passive resistance (indirect actions toward the abuser as a form of resistance)
Confusion or ambivalence about the abuser	Keeping secrets
Loss of sexual feelings for the abuser	Not confiding in the abuser
Confusion or ambivalence about the relationship	Loss of respect for the abuser
Social isolation (from friends or relatives)	Physical retaliation toward the abuser

All of these effects and more can arise due to experiencing domestic violence. If you have felt any of these things, it can be helpful to seek out support and possibly counseling for you and your children.

If you have been abusive toward your partner or family, it can be helpful to recognize that these kind of harms often get worse over time if you do not make a choice to change your behavior.

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